


i never really believed in fate until tonight

by panlesters



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2010 Phan, Fluff, M/M, New Year, i saw a tweet and i was inspired idk, idk it's pretty soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:01:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21631285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panlesters/pseuds/panlesters
Summary: Dan doesn't want to believe that his whole life has been planned out for him like some higher purpose. But maybe someone was out there, keeping him and Phil on the right path
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46





	i never really believed in fate until tonight

**Author's Note:**

> this was based on a tweet i saw on instagram. idk how to link stuff it was dan being sappy   
> was it from 10th january 2011? or was it from 1st october 2011? we'll never know but let's pretend it's new year lmao 
> 
> enjoy!

It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster year for Dan. A lot has changed for him. He’s moved to the other side of the country, and… it’s not as scary as he expected it to be. It _was_ scary, for sure. But maybe being closer to Phil has taken the edge off a bit.

He’s always got somewhere to go when it gets too much. The painted white brick wall in his dorm room feels too much like a prison cell sometimes, and when he needs to get out he’s got somewhere to escape to. It means a lot to him, the way Phil opened his home to him straight away. The first time he said that to Phil he was told not to be silly, what’s Phil’s is his, and all that. But he’s still grateful. He still can’t quite comprehend it, but he’s taken what’s given to him.

It’s hard to believe he’s only been at university a few months. He can’t imagine being away from Phil and Manchester for weeks on end like how he used to be.

The trip to India had been the hardest on Dan. They could phone each other, of course, but it was expensive. There was little internet and it felt like he was completely closed off from the world. From _his_ world.

It was difficult for him to tell Phil he guessed they wouldn’t be able to do anything for Valentine’s Day because he was going to be on holiday. Phil had begrudgingly agreed, and Dan had thought that the end of it.

He hadn’t heard his mum call him to dinner the night they got home. She found him curled up with a pillow hugged to his chest, tears streaked down his cheeks. His headphones were in and he couldn’t hear anything. She’d wrapped her arms around him and he’d been quick to close his laptop.

“Phil just sent me a really nice video for when I came home,” he sniffed. He’d rested his head on her shoulder and let her wipe away the tears on his face. She hadn’t always felt like a mum, but in that moment she was almost everything he wanted.

“You two seem so close,” Karen had mused, “It makes me so happy to see you have a friend like that.”

“We’re really best friends, mum,” Dan had smiled, sitting up and getting ready for dinner.

“I’m so glad, bear.”

He and Phil had a celebratory skype call when Dan got his place at Manchester. He had cried when he saw it was an unconditional offer, and he joked with Phil that now he didn’t have to study for his exams.

“Dan,” Phil had shaken his head. “You still have to work, you know, it’s good to do well.”

“I want to do well,” Dan had replied, rolling his eyes a little. He pretended it annoyed him but really it warmed his chest to know that there was someone out there rooting for him, wanting him to do the best he could do. “It’s just like a safety net I guess, if it all goes to shit.”

“It sure is,” Phil had laughed gently. He knew when to let Dan have his moments, and Dan loved that. Not everything was serious, not everything was _come on Dan, you’re better than that._ It was comforting, and refreshing.

Phil came down to Dan’s dorm to help him unpack when he moved in. He was overly polite to Dan’s parents, and they laughed and said that Dan was in good hands before they left. He wasn’t homesick right away, but it was definitely kicking in when he realised he really didn’t know how to do much to keep himself alive. Standing out in the cold after he’d set the fire alarm off making pasta, he found himself missing his grandma’s cooking more than anything else. He rang her that night, and she laughed heartily at his misfortune.

Waiting until nearly midnight to do his first load of washing had seemed like a really good idea. And it would have been, if everyone else in the city hadn’t had the same thought. He hadn’t expected the warmest of welcomes when he turned up at Phil’s with a suitcase full of clothes. But Phil had been ready to clear out a spare room for him and let him move in. He finds himself, a lot, thinking back to various points where he’d known Phil was all in for them, just like he was. There’s a fair few of them. But that night, when Phil was ready to drop everything for Dan, that’s when he really knew, it was real for Phil, just like it was real for Dan.

It hadn’t been long after that when Phil gave Dan his own key. Dan had shed a tear or two when it happened. Phil really wanted him to have access to _his_ space, any time he wanted.

Now it’s New Year’s Eve. Dan hadn’t wanted to be away from Phil any longer than he had to be; Christmas had been a quick round trip to see his family, lest he face the wrath of his grandma and mother, and then he was back in Manchester as soon as he could be.

He and Phil had been talking for ages about their plans for the new year, how they were going to see it through. There were always fireworks in the centre of town. In the end, they abandon going out in favour of ordering Domino’s, buying cheap champagne, and standing out on their balcony watching fireworks all over the city.

It goes silent around 1am for a few minutes across the city. Phil rests his head on Dan’s shoulder, breathing in the fresh air.

“Dan?”

“Hm.”

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

Dan turns his head to look at Phil.

“I don’t really believe in souls,” he replies softly.

“Oh,” Phil says quietly.

“Phil?”

“Yeah.”

“I think you might be my soulmate.” The words are soft and almost silent, and Phil feels the grin on his face grow before he’s even acknowledged it.

“Oh,” Phil replies, trying to keep a neutral voice.

“I never really believed in fate,” Dan carries on. “I hate the idea of things happening for a reason.” Phil nods on his shoulder. “So much shit happened at school, you know? I hate the idea of all that being for a reason. I _hate_ it.” He takes a deep breath. “But I feel like… maybe _we_ were fate.”

Phil manoeuvres himself around so he’s hugging Dan from behind.

“I think I was always meant to meet you,” Phil whispers, pressing a kiss behind Dan’s ear. “No matter what happened, the universe pulled us together. Even if I wasn’t on youtube, we’d still have found each other.”

Dan twisted himself around in Phil’s arms and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“I think you might be right.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! i hope you enjoyed! comments are appreciated, come scream at me @ panlesters on tumblr


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